You're Right

This says it all. 

You can do it. 

You are worth it. 

You will push yourself harder than you thought you could.

You will fall.

You will get back up.

Slow progress is still process and better than no progress.

You will find strength.

You will find happiness.

Think positive- don't allow the negative thoughts to creep in.

You will find friends.

You will find support.

This is the time YOU will succeed. 

small goals

When you are 100+pound over weight (or even less), you want to loose weight and you want to loose it fast. You don't want it to take forever. When you start out you can't say I want to loose 100 pounds. If you do that, you will get frustrated easily. Instead make small goals. I made myself a scrapbook that had my goals. I started at 335 pounds

Goal .5 (not even goal 1) loose 15 pounds. When I hit that, I found pictures of me during that time and put them on that page.

Goal 1, hit 299, again I took pictures and put them on that page.

Goal 1.5, loose 50 pounds,

Goal 2, hit 275 pounds…

It continues with goals and halfway marks all the way to goal 7. Hit 170 pounds. The last time I was that weight was in 6 grade. I still have a ways to go, and its been a while since I have been able to put pictures in the book, but I will get back there. I want to get back there.

So my advice? Set small goals and crush them. Take pride in reaching those goals and make more goals for yourself. You'll get there.

Remember where you came from

Last night at my zumba class a friend gave me this sign. 

She said: I have one and now you do too. You'll have to let me know where you put it.

I got home and got to my room. There is only one place it could go. Right above my goal pants and my original workout clothes. They are the true sign of where I am going and where I have come from. It sits next to a sign that says: follow your heart. Both are great reminders of things that you need to do everyday. Follow your heart. Do what you love, what feels right. Grab ahold of life and don't let go. When you get where you want to be remember where you came from and how you got there and then… set a new destination.

The Scale

There is a constant battle that we face. The number on the scale. We are constantly focused on reaching a certain number, what society says someone your age and your height should be to be healthy. What the scale doesn't tell you?
It doesn't tell you that you are stronger than you were.
That you are gaining muscle.
That your clothes fit better, are looser, or even too big.
That you feel better.
That you're happier.
That you've made friends.
That you look forward to being drenched in sweat.
That you laugh through the pain.
That you have learned to love yourself and your body.
That you can do things that you could do before.
That others are noticing all those things and so much more.
That you are inspiring others to take back control in their life.

The scale? It tells you your relationship with gravity.

Often times we are so focused on that number that we forget to remember what the scale doesn't tell you.

P.E

P.E, Gym, Physical Education. Whatever you call it. I disliked it. With a passion. I remember in elementary school trying to get out of doing all the fitness tests. Pull ups? Really? You want me to pull my self up? It only got worse the older {and heavier} I got. In middle school we had to run the mile 2 times a semester. The perfectionist in me couldn't be absent. Its kind of like when someone is picking teams. You don't want to be the last person picked, and in this case I didn't want to be the last person to cross that line. The embarrassment of having everyone else done and me still going was horrible. I didn't want to run and have people look at me, but walking was almost just as bad.
Then in high school, every Friday was the mile run. What more-if you wanted to get an A on it you had to run it in less than 15 mins. That wasn't happening. My freshman year I had a brand new teacher. I'm not sure if he felt pity or me or not but he gave me the choice to do some extra credit and I did it of course. My second year I had Mr. Leblanc. I remember approaching him before school started. I respected him very much and I remember looking at him and saying: "I won't be able to run a mile in less than 15 minuets, but I promise you I will always try my hardest on everything." He looked at me and said, "I know," and I did. Each time we had to run, I ran a little bit more and he noticed and would tell me how proud he was of me. I remember the first time I made it all the way around the track without stopping. I'm not sure who was more excited me or him. I did what I had to do to survive. To get the grade I wanted and as soon as the semester was over, there was no more running.
This all went through my mind as I was running on the treadmill. It would be so easy to give up. To not run anymore, to just walk or do nothing at all, to fall into old habits, or I could keep pushing, keep going and achieve my goals. I can't take back those years in high school, but I can decided what my future holds. I am so lucky to have people in my life that know what I want and help me meet my goals.

FROG

At our Annual Girl Power Fitness Christmas Party, we gave out awards. One award was designed to be an award about "me". I asked my 13 year old niece what we should call it. What do people think when they think about me. She said: "3 things, Frogs, how much weight you have lost, and how much of a skittle you are" (1. I am slightly obsessed with frogs, and skittles refers to what we call ourselves because of the bright colored clothes we wear). I didn't want to just call it a frog award. I wanted it to stand for something. So came the FROG award:

Finding

Resolve to

Overcome Obstacles and

Grow

The award description read:

The decision to take back what belongs to you is a choice that no one can take away from you. Living life on the sidelines is not for them and they have their head back in the game. They know life isn’t a journey, it’s an excursion of their lifetime. They know that Healthy knows no size and that healthy is beautiful. Jacob Held said, “We can’t escape pain; we can’t escape the essential nature of our lives. But we do have a choice. We can give in and relent, or we can fight, persevere, and create a life worth living, a noble life. Pain is a fact; our evaluation of it is a choice.” So watch out world she’s coming through.

I nearly cried reading the award for many reasons. I saw myself in that award. Those words were what had happened to me. I didn't want to sit on the sidelines. I didn't want life to pass me by, but at the time, I was. I was back to old habits, I wasn't eating right, I wasn't working out like I should and I wasn't treating my body the way it deserved to be treated. I can either keep going that way or I can do something about it. Im choosing to do something about it. No more sitting on the sidelines. No more watching everyone else taking that control. Not anymore. Hello 2015. Have we met yet? I have a feeling we are going to be good friends.

Ow Factor

This weekend… Flew by.. and was filled with the OW factor… what's that you say? That when you get your butt handed to you by taking 5 classes at Girl Power Fitness by the Amazing Adriane. I can't say enough about you. Your encouragement, motivation and drive mean more to me than you will ever know. I can't imagine this adventure without you! It has been way too long since I have done a class with you, never mind 3 back to back on Saturday, and two back to back Sunday- which also followed an AMAZING 3 hour Cumbia Zumba JAM session.
Needless to say I got in my steps this weekend!
I've been working hard the last two weeks. I have been running/walking 2 miles or a half hour on the treadmill in the mornings before school. I have keep good on my promise of getting a minimum of 10 miles in a week and attending at least 1 additional class a week and I have continued to sing. I am having a hard time with my 10th goal- trying not to stress as much and number 13 -not worrying about the number on the scale.
I stress a lot- not as much as I used to but still I find myself worrying about things that I don't have any control over. Keeping busy helps but it's the quiet moments that I start thinking too much.
Now number 13. I have been busting it out. Working it out so hard and not seeing movement on the scale is killing me. I want to see the results. I want to see that number going down, and it's not. I can feel my muscles hurting. I know I am pushing my body hard. Getting up in the mornings before school, working out, and attending extra classes aren't paying off but I know that…

In the mornings I take my tablet and headphones and head down stairs to the treadmill. I hate the treadmill. I don't mind running outside, but something about running on the treadmill just is boring to me. Maybe its because I'm by myself, or maybe its because it's so early. This week shopping at the Dollar Tree and found some posters. I decided to decorate downstairs a little.

My hope is that when I have friends come over they might write messages on the white board, and that I can look at the posters and messages and the running might not be so bad.

Happiness is NOT a Destination

Happiness is an adventure, not a destination; happiness is to be found along the way not at the end of the road. 
Sitting at #zincon2014 (Zumba Fitness Instructor Convention 2014) we had a guest speaker. A professor from Harvard. They called him "Dr. Love". This professor talked to us about happiness. What he said struck me. He said: Happiness is not a destination. He then talked and asked questions of us about what happiness was. 
What did I take away from his amazing presentation? Happiness is a feeling. Happiness is doing what you want to and enjoying it. If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change the way you look at it. That happiness is waking up and choosing to do what you want to in order to be happy. Sometimes this evolves taking chances. 
So surround yourself with the people and things that make you happy. Don't waste time with those who don't. Do things that make you want to be better. Take time for yourself and enjoy every experience  Be happy every step of your adventure.

Eat Well, Sleep Tight, and Work Hard

A good friend of mine sent me something (text is in purple) that she had seen, loved it and wanted to share it with me. After each bulleted point I have added my own thoughts.

1. Be respectful of your body at all times. It is disrespectful to feed your body more food than it needs. When you overeat you are bullying your body. Starting today, take responsibility for everything you eat by writing it down. Then look at it. This is how you become accountable to your Self. You are not out of control. There is nothing wrong with you. Do the Dignified Thing. Respect your Self. 

There is a saying: Your body keeps an accurate record despite of what you write down. Recently friends and I got the UP bracelet- Much like a Fitbit, but a little cheaper. This bracelet is pretty awesome and after about a week of using it, I am liking it quite a bit. Not only does it track my steps and sleep, but it allows me to input what I have eaten and keeps track of my calories. It is a pain to write down and input food- but I do better when I  write down what I'm putting in my body and it keeps me focused and on track.

   

2. Stop eating food that doesn’t feel good in your body. And stop pretending that overeating is a good way to comfort yourself.  Eat when you are hungry, stop when your body is satisfied. Eat delicious foods that energize you and give health to your body. And find a way to soothe yourself that doesn’t involve food.  

When I started personal training *A* taught me how to read labels. Did you know that stores are designed in a way that doesn't promote healthy eating. You stand in that checkout line and what is around you. Candy bars? Chips? Chocolate? Soda? These are impulse items and the retailers know it. In fact in college I worked in a retail  store and that department was called IMPULSE - no joke. They know that you are hungry and that a candy bar will taste good and is easy to grab on impulse. Don't do it. That food doesn't make you feel good. It gives you a little sugar rush and then you crash, feel tired and sluggish and you have consumed a few hundred empty calories.

3. Pay attention to what you think about your ability to lose weight. Take back your power. It’s absolutely possible to lose weight (and a lot of it), but only if you believe it’s possible.  Not believing is what keeps you stuck in the cycle of Cry-Eat Repeat.  

The difference between who you are and who you want to be is what you do. Mind over matter they say. So many times I was going to do it. I was going to lose weight. I tried and failed. Repeadily. I tried to do it on my own and I didn't stick with it. Do you believe in you? I believe in you.

4. Stop trying to lose weight.  Trying to lose weight is the enemy of losing weight. Trying means excuses. Trying means delaying and postponing. Weight loss comes from deciding and committing.  It comes from Integrity: standing up for the things you say are important to you. Say it → Mean it → Prove it. 

Don't make losing weight you focus. Focus on the little things. How do you feel after you have completed a workout (besides stinky, tired and maybe a little sore). Do you feel it? That feeling that yea, you just did it. You just took back a little bit of control. You just took that step. That HUGE leap. You went, you saw and you conquered. Along with the clean eating you are fueling your body the correct way and using that fuel to take back your control.

5. Breathe, sleep, eat with Dignity.  Dignity quite literally means you are worthy of love--especially your own.  Be unconditional with the love you have for yourself. No more rude, hateful, or mean self-talk.  No more excuses that justify body abuse or neglect.  Be a woman of Dignity. Starting today, talk to yourself and treat yourself in a dignified way. You are worth fighting for.

If you have read my previous posts you know how I learned to love myself almost a year ago. You have to treat your body the way it deserves, which means getting plenty of sleep. The average adult needs 7-8 hours of sleep a night. I would be one of the first to say- but there are only so many hours in the day, and I need to finish that one last, or just one more chapter. Sleep needs to be a priority. If you don't have it you won't have the energy to conquer those workouts. You can never get back the sleep you didn't get during the week on those lazy Sunday mornings.